Suddenly another month has passed in 2020. The Costume History Pedagogy Workshop wrapped up and there are plans to continue the work and strengthen the connections.
Days before our second workshop weekend, another black man was killed at the hands of the police, sparking a long overdue awakening. For the first time in my life, I'm seeing statements and intentions expressed at different institutional levels. I would not consider myself a racist but, I most certainly acknowledge I have personally benefited from my whiteness over time, and the racist policies that made space for my privileges. I also acknowledge I am in a position of power and privilege and what I chose to do in this position can influence policy and outcomes. At a recent U-M event, I learned and appreciated that:
It's ok to "stay in my lane." I understood this to mean there can be great value in working within my comfort zone. I don't have to run for office, demonstrate visibly or "take on" big business. It can be enough to show up, listen, change my syllabus, write a curriculum change requiring a Race & Ethnicity req, talk about race explicitly with my kid.
It is better to focus on 2-3 three authentic changes and do them wholly and thoughtfully, rather then try and do 1,000,000 things poorly though (hopefully) well-intended. Then, next year, pick 2 more...
Come with compassion to be corrected, and accept corrections with grace and gratitude. But, it is not the responsibility of a BIPOC to teach me; that is on me.
As a teacher and theatre artist, I am in the middle of my career, and am in it for the long haul. We have a whole generation of educators who, for the most past, only learned one perspective and one way of teaching it. One of the big themes to emerge from our costume workshop is how to disrupt that cycle; lean how to be a "guide on the side," not a "sage on the stage," and that leadership in the classroom can be more powerful than expertise (bring in the guest expert- more perspectives is better!). I would add more perspectives is especially important in this highly subjective form.
And there's rub. There are finally critical conversations happening about barriers to the industry- unpaid internships, costs with applying to college (let alone the cost of attending), demolition of the Arts in K-12. How do we recruit a diverse student body in design & production if awareness and access to the programs are unknown or prohibitive? How to we cultivate diverse production teams if the gatekeepers of the industry are, as a whole, largely homogeneous? How do we recruit a diverse faculty if our criteria for scholarship and advancement are tied to success in the industry?
So during the great pause of 2020, I'm learning. For those of you following along at home, I'm on day 538 learning french on Duolingo, but I'm also taking a crash course in waking up. I'm halfway though, the Seeing White podcast, we watched 13th, and I've just finished How to Be An Antiracist by Imbram X. Kendi. Three quotes from that book have really resonated:
"The problem of race has always been at its core the problem of power, not the problem of immortality or ignorance."
"We convince ourselves we are doing something to solve the racial problem when we are really doing something to satisfy our feelings." Or I would add, checking a box.
"The source of racist ideas is not ignorance and hate, but self-interest."
Up next, as I spend the summer rebuilding my fall classes for whatever format they need to be in, I am tuning them with an eye towards justice and equity.
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